Best Funny SMS / Jokes quotes, wishes and messages. Read, copy, share, and create image quotes online using Easy2Wish.
Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.
I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.
If stress burned calories, I’d be a supermodel.
I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.
When nothing is going right, go left.
I’m great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.
Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.
I told my phone I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me vacation ads.
The early bird can have the worm, because worms are gross and mornings are stupid.
I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.
Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.
I clean my house every day. Just kidding, I wanted you to feel better about yourself.
Dear Math, I’m not a therapist. Solve your own problems.
I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.
I’m not lazy. I’m on energy-saving mode.
My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
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