Best Funny SMS / Jokes quotes, wishes and messages. Read, copy, share, and create image quotes online using Easy2Wish.
I asked my North Korean friend how it’s going... he said he can’t complain.
My imaginary friend says you have serious issues.
I told my boss three companies were after me, so I needed a raise. Turns out they were the electricity, water, and internet companies.
If you can’t convince them, confuse them.
I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a few payments.
Never laugh at your wife’s choices. You are one of them.
I’m not lazy, I’m just on standby mode.
I told my computer I needed a break, and it gave me a blue screen.
Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
My wallet is like an onion. Opening it makes me cry.
I’m not short. I’m just concentrated awesome.
I changed all my passwords to “incorrect,” so whenever I forget, it reminds me “Your password is incorrect.”
If I won the award for laziness, I’d send someone to pick it up for me.
I’m not clumsy. The floor just hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way.
I tried to lose weight but it keeps finding me.
I finally realized that people are prisoners of their phones. That’s why it’s called a “cell” phone.
I always arrive late at work, but I make up for it by leaving early.
I put my phone in airplane mode, but it’s not flying yet.
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