Best Funny SMS / Jokes quotes, wishes and messages. Read, copy, share, and create image quotes online using Easy2Wish.
My wallet and my stomach are having a competition — both are empty.
Behind every successful person is a lot of coffee.
I just burned 1200 calories. I forgot the pizza in the oven.
Sometimes I wish I were an octopus so I could slap eight people at once.
I don’t trip over things, I do random gravity checks.
I’m not old, I’m 25 plus shipping and handling.
If you can’t laugh at yourself, call me — I’ll laugh at you.
The fridge is a clear example that what’s inside matters.
I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not sure.
My boss told me to have a good day... so I went home.
I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned.
If Cinderella’s shoe fit perfectly, why did it fall off?
I hate it when I gain 10 pounds for a role, and then realize I’m not an actor.
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
I’m not addicted to coffee, we’re just in a committed relationship.
I was going to tell a time-travel joke, but you guys didn’t like it.
I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.
Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
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