Best Funny SMS / Jokes quotes, wishes and messages. Read, copy, share, and create image quotes online using Easy2Wish.
When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.
I’m not lazy. I’m highly motivated to do nothing.
I told my mirror I wanted to see someone amazing today. It laughed.
Running late is my cardio.
A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand.
My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. So, I showed him my salary.
I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not too sure.
Sometimes I wonder what happened to the people who asked me for directions.
I asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia. She whispered, “They’re right behind you.”
The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.
My memory is like an internet browser: 19 tabs open, 3 frozen, and I have no idea where the music is coming from.
I tried cooking something new, and the smoke detector loved it.
I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
When nothing goes right, go take a nap.
I was going to conquer the world, but I overslept.
If sleep is so important, why does school start so early?
Exercise? I thought you said extra fries!
I’m on a 30-day diet. So far, I’ve lost 15 days.
I have a condition that prevents me from going on a diet — it’s called hunger.
I’m not lazy, I’m just waiting for inspiration to hit... preferably with coffee.
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